If this latest stage of Andrew's sorry saga ever made it into Netflix's The Crown, even the audience would struggle to believe it.

Who honestly would have thought that the man who was once second-in-line to the throne and consistently lauded - for better or for worse - as the late Queen's favourite child would be spending much of his time in a "moss-covered" caravan propped up on bricks? For all the unbelievable stories that have dripped out of the leaky, corroding pipe that is Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor's reputation, this really is the cherry on top of the cake.

I doubt that has ever been a greater visual metaphor for someone's fall from grace - a 30-room mansion locked behind castle gates to a white static home in a garden. There's a real sense of poetic justice in the whole scandal that even Keats, Chaucer or Shakespeare himself wouldn't be able to neatly sum up.

The move matches Andrew's current status - outdated, temporary and able to be moved on at a moment's notice. What's even more bizarre is that we're being told he quite likes caravan life; it was originally set up for his security team, but now it seems Andrew has nabbed it for himself.

Perhaps it reminds him of his rough and tumble days in the Royal Navy, hard to believe, we know, given how he has spent his entire life grasping for the very best life has to offer in every scenario, but that could just be it.

"It's novel for him," sources have said. Aww, isn't he brave? What an adventure! A caravan certainly isn't what we were imagining for the next step in this twisting, turning drama, but if he is expecting a round of applause and a dramatic U-turn in public perception for his humility, he is sorely mistaken.

The question that begs to be asked is why can't Andrew move in while the final touches are being put to Marsh Farm?

We have seen photos of the Sky dish going up, we know the swanky new carpets are down, and we've seen three trucks from a fine art company delivering some luxury goods. Heaven forbid Andrew should stumble across a tradesman in his new home - talk about clutching one's pearls!

Forget the PR spin about Andrew enjoying caravan life and being a "changed man"; he is actively sabotaging his Marsh Farm move. From allegedly billing the King for curtain alterations to hiring luxury movers for his priceless Royal Lodge art, his banishment to Sandringham has become an expensive, ego-driven headache for a brother who really doesn't need the grief.

Just imagine what the King is thinking. Sources have said the King will have "no qualms" about kicking his brother out of his temporary Wood Farm home, regardless of how much more work remains to be done on Marsh Farm. Too right!

He is all too aware of the damaging optics when he sees three luxury goods vans roll into a quiet Norfolk village to keep the luxurious life Andrew has always known afloat while he remains under police investigation.

Just two months ago, Andrew may have deluded himself that he was still riding high, clip-clopping through Windsor Great Park or waving triumphantly at passers-by from behind the wheel of his Range Rover. If he really thinks that the King, or the public, for that matter, will stomach his stubborn refusals to accept his new life for much longer, he's got another thing coming.